Relationships...
What kind of relationships am I talking about? Iam talking about the ones people share with one another. When do we call a particular 'link' between a person, a 'relationship'? To put it simply, its a just a superfluous word, giving more emphasis on the 'connection' than it actually means.
A person, say my junior in college and I share a discrete association. This association maybe rightly termed as a relationship. The reason for this association could be the fact that we are college-mates or simply the fact that we are both engineering students. What I'am trying to accentuate here is, how wrongly we misunderstand and misuse the word relationship when actually it is something we share with tons of people, many of whom are only an acquaintance.
This relationship thingy is promoted to a 'bond' when you and I share something more intimate than just an acquaintance or 'connection'. That's where the beauty in relationships lie, and that's where it has been confused. Also, to me, this R word sounds really formal and formal is how it was intended to be when the word was first coined. I mean, think of it, whenever we use informal language, we seldom use words with more than 2 or 3 syllables. Its a fact, just analyse your talks with your friends and yourself. Its simply too long a word with 4.5 syllables to be accepted as informal.
Now lets talk about 'bond'. Bond develops between two people when the mutual trust between the concerned parties escalate. This bond naturally grows deeper and deeper with every increase in this 'mutual-trust'. Mutual-trust is the blind trust, yes, the blind trust that exists between 2 people. I trust you with my life, say, then to me you are as close as my next of kin. You may not actually be willing to lay down your life for me, but my belief in your ability leads to trust. This vividly describes another aspect of a 'bond'. Bond is relative, its one sided. What I see as an intimate relationship, someone else need not, simply because what he/she attributes to trust need not be what I follow. And its definitely one sided, as was obscurely pointed out in my 'laying-down-your-life' example. A trusts B with what he values most and feels an intense amount of bonding. B trusts A with what
he values most, which may be different from A's and therefore might feel a different level of intensity in his bonding towards A. And that's what makes us so imperfect. Everything in this universe has a symmetry, good-evil, light-dark, small-huge, God-Devil, etc. And assuming God exists and he created the universe, we can safely presume the universe to be perfect. And anything which threatens this symmetry is an imperfection. That's where we bozos come in. Cos, after all perfection needs a symmetry too, imperfection!
But don't let this deter you, cos this is inexorable. Life's like this, it doesn't seem fair at times. We are basically primates who only think of ourselves first. This cannot be outrightly termed selfish. Because that sequence of thoughts and actions are engraved, etched into our DNAs from time immemorial. No matter who you are, you have got to admit, that in times of crisis our first thought, maybe very very insignificant, concerns us and us alone. Heck, even our bodies respond that way, by kicking in extra defensive hormones, that help us 'fight'. When do we fight; when we got to defend ourselves. And what are we doing when we are defending ourselves; we are thinking of ourselves.
So the next time you feel a bit let-down, because the 'bond' you share with someone seems stronger than the 'bond' they share with you; for heaven's sake stop thinking of yourself and think of some other person whom you are not giving as much they give you. Giving here is synonymous with intensity of 'bond'.
If the trust's gone, the bond deteriorates. That's exactly how I feel right now with many people whom I believe I share a bond with. Before you get the wrong idea, its not me who has lost the trust, its them who have lost the trust in me and its all my fault..... But once that special 'association' survives this test of doubt, it will indubitably grow stronger.
The bright side - Life's fair too.
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